Personal Growth and Development

The other day I was in a fast food restaurant eating my grilled chicken salad & trying to read a magazine. There was a young mother nearby with a bevy of restless little boys around her. It was obvious they were all hers, they all looked like her. The oldest looked to be about 8 & the youngest just a baby of about a year.

The youngest became so restless and squirmy, his mother finally let him out of his high chair & asked the oldest boy, who had finished eating, to watch the baby while she and the other 2 boys finished their meal.

Many years ago, I heard a statement that I did not really understand but I somehow wished I would be able to achieve. This perplexing statement was: What you think of me is none of my business!

My first thoughts about this statement were:

• How is this possible? We live in a world with other people and we have to react to what they say and do. Don’t we?

• How selfish is that? If each one of us ignored what others are thinking and just did whatever we wanted, wouldn’t that create chaos?

We’ve often heard that loving yourself is bad. We’ve been led to believe that feeling an intense self-appreciation for who you are and what you do is wrong and considered conceit. However, self-love done properly is the only way to enter a relationship. Anything else will be inviting paths of rocky roads and trials.

The time of neglecting yourself is over. You cannot be anything to anyone until you’re good to yourself first. While being good to yourself sounds like it should be easy, it can be one of the hardest things in life. However, there are steps to take to increase your lovability to yourself.

Have you ever heard someone say; “If I only had a dollar for every time someone told me I couldn’t do something, I’d be a very wealthy individual!” Well, I was considering this the other day after someone told me that not everyone has the talents that I do and thus, they cannot do what I’ve done? And many people are beaten down because no one believes in them or encourages them to forge ahead and tackle their dreams.

For many trailing spouses as well for many professionals who move overseas, both self-esteem and self-confidence rank high among the issues they struggle with. And although the two are not quite the same thing - self-esteem is about “who you are being” and self-confidence is about “what you are doing” - they follow each other closely. Not being able to accomplish what you’ve always done almost without an effort (self-confidence) - getting a job, managing a team, or taking care of your family - creates a whole series of questions that touch upon what you are worth (self-esteem). The former leads to latter, and the latter then in turn influences the former. What do you do to break this circle? How do you get back and maintain your self-confidence and with it your self-esteem when you are always on the move?