We’ve often heard that loving yourself is bad. We’ve been led to believe that feeling an intense self-appreciation for who you are and what you do is wrong and considered conceit. However, self-love done properly is the only way to enter a relationship. Anything else will be inviting paths of rocky roads and trials.

The time of neglecting yourself is over. You cannot be anything to anyone until you’re good to yourself first. While being good to yourself sounds like it should be easy, it can be one of the hardest things in life. However, there are steps to take to increase your lovability to yourself.

First, take an honest look. Assess what’s been wrong for too long. Weight, health, finances, work, etc. Look at all the areas of you and find the problems. You can’t start loving yourself if you ignore the problems that have been dogging you. The first step to healing is to see where the hurt is.

Secondly, begin to prioritize. Rank what needs fixing first. Many problems build on one another so look for root problems. Prioritizing also allows you to avoid being overwhelmed and feeling out of control. This allows you to start to find solutions. Whether it’s professional help to get over parts of your childhood or books to give you guidance on that new workout routine, look for assistance. It’s out there. Go get it.

Next, to start loving yourself you’ll need to start working! Now that you know where your neglect was, how bad each neglect was and how to fix them, start doing it. Don’t let the specter of doubt tell you you’ll fail.

After you start working on your issues, practice feeling good. Whether it’s music, babies or hanging out, surround yourself with things, people and places that truly encourage you and basically, help you take care of yourself.

Gratitude is a major component of a healthy mental attitude. Learn to appreciate. God, life and no one else will give you anything without your appreciation of what you’ve already been given. Say “thank you” and feel “thank you” as long as you can daily. Hand-in-hand with gratitude is giving. Whether it’s volunteering, reaching out to help someone or just being there to help, give. Giving rewards both you and those you help.

Finally, enjoy your life. Laugh. Dance. Whatever it is and however you express it, let your enjoyment for life show.